the thing is, you want to love a horror with an unpredictable narrator. it's a tale as old as time! but this just fell kind of flat for me? it had some interesting elements and the prose was unique but also just a little... inflammatory but without a purpose other than painting our narrator as sinister? i couldn't connect with her because she clearly has intense mental illness and is unwilling to look inward at her own behavior. i struggled to feel any sympathy for her despite her inability to conceive and a clearly traumatic relationship with her mother because of how obsessive and manipulative she is to everyone around her. the book is clearly about generational trauma and how the cycle of abuse continues without intentional effort to stop it. there was nothing fun about this book. it wasn't spooky. the ghost element was ineffective because the narrator was so unreliable. wouldn't recommend! womp!
it is difficult to ascertain didion's political orientation beyond a serious hypercritical tendency towards all sides. she is suspicious of everyone and knows just how to articulate all of our fears regarding the state of the world and our toxic union. her love for california and all of her complexities runs through this book and although it is beautiful and her waxing poetic is fascinating and a touch foreign to me because i've never actually been to california, this collection of essays is not as compelling as slouching towards bethlehem. i love the essays on her time in hawaii. she is incredibly self aware and sharp. the short essay on nancy reagan and the attempted puff piece she just couldn't force herself to write is hilarious. the white album is a brilliant reflection of life in the 70s.
the year of magical thinking feels like a seminal text for anyone who has lost a loved one. reading the book brought up a lot of feelings that i think i had at some point pushed down so far into my belly that maybe i thought they would never come back up but didion just has a way with writing. it feels important for me to mention that i lost my parents over 10 years ago. there are days where i am still bereft with grief... the year of magical thinking helps clarify why in a way that no other book has. your brain stops working in grief. simple tasks become impossibly difficult. your brain feels like a barren wasteland. didion's documentation of all of this accompanied by her cunning wit even in such a dire personal crisis is inspiring to me. i love this book. prepare to cry. call your loved ones. tell them you love them. write memories down. keep remembering them.
